Lost
by l'Ciel
Summary: Severus comes to know, that the woman he had to rape during a DEriot is the new DADA and pregnant. Fate is not kind with them… R&R Warnings: implied rape, character death, revised 41405


Author: l'Ciel

Pairing: Sev/Anna(OFC),

Warnings: implied rape, character death, slightly AU

Summary: Severus comes to know, that the woman he had to rape during a DE-riot is the new DADA and pregnant. Fate is not kind with them… R&R

**LOST**

ONE 

Hogwarts; September 1979

It was late afternoon and in the evening the new students would arrive. Minerva and Poppy sat in an alcove near the library. The mediwitch had just again tended to Snape, whose injuries got worse with every new Death Eater meeting he attended. Poppy leaned against her girlfriend and closed her eyes.

"I don't know what to do with him. If it gets worse my skills won't suffice to put him together again. But that stubborn idiot won't back down from the job and Albus is adamant on sending him out again. I mean, I know the information he gains is invaluable to the cause, but his life is in great danger, if he continues like that!"

"Honey, I know. But you know Severus all to well. If he got his hands on something, he won't leave it until he has achieved his goal."

"Unlikely, yes. But he has to see reason! I can't just let him do that to himself!"

"I agree, but it's not our place to stop him."

"I just wish it was over!"

"Me, too."

Minerva took her upset lover into her arms and closed her eyes briefly. Things weren't working all too well.

In the headmaster's office a young woman signed a parchment and smiled at Dumbledore, who shook her hand.

"I hope you will enjoy your new joy, Anna."

"I'll try and break the jinx. Wouldn't want to leave just after one year.", she joked and got up from her chair, "See you at the feast, headmaster."

"Bye Professor Stein."

She descended the stairs and hurried along the corridor back to her new chambers, when she bumped into somebody.

"Excuse me, Professor Snape. I did not mean to run into you."

"Unlikely. If you'll excuse me, I'm in a hurry!", he said coldly and stormed by. She shook her head and headed down the stairs to the first floor, where she stopped at the portrait of Merlin.

"Shallow Waters.", she spoke clearly.

"Indeed, my child. Now then, step in!", the old wizard smiled and swung aside.

She smiled back and entered her rooms. The walls were painted in white, the floor covered with a fluffy cream rug over the light wood. In the right corner, next to the door stood a large desk with a heap of scrolls and books on it. The wall on the left was covered with bookshelves, containing more books and some swirling, silver instruments, a broom and a pensive. On the right wall, a smaller fireplace with two comfy-looking armchairs in front of it lightened the room. The opposite wall had three large windows in it, that reached from the bottom to the top of the room. Light brown and icy blue curtains were half drawn and the view over the lake was amazing.

Next to the fireplace a door led to a bedroom. It was decorated in blue and white with fair wooden furniture. The most she liked the huge four poster bed with the white hangings and black satin sheets. A nice bathroom with a large tub adjourned the bedroom, as did a small balcony with two chairs and a table on it.

Anna enjoyed a moment of silent content, before she went over her lesson plan for the first day again and changed into more formal white robes for the evening, when her new students would arrive.

But still she had about an hour time to spent and so she decided to take a look into her pensive again, as her psychologist had advised her to.

The silvery substance swirled and she fell into a, by now well known, graveyard, where she could watch herself being dragged in front of the Dark Lord. The snake smiled evilly when her hands were chained to the ground and the procedure began. A masked Death Eater stepped up from behind her and ripped her robes open, before kneeling down…

She shuddered and stepped back from the pensive. In a much worse mood than before she went into the bathroom and wiped away the tears on her cheeks, before she took some deep breathes and left her chambers, heading to the great hall.

Severus Snape left the hospital wing in a huff. Poppy had once again declared herself as his guardian angel and had hold him a long, annoying speech about the lack of care he took of himself. He just rounded another corner, when he bumped into somebody.

"Excuse me, Professor Snape. I did not mean to run into you."

"Unlikely. If you'll excuse me, I'm in a hurry!", he said coldly and stormed by. For another year Dumbledore had denied him the position of the Defence teacher. Not that he really wanted it, not at the moment anyway, but the old bugger had his fun with keeping him from the job, even if it mean to employ one incompetent idiot after another.

Fuming and in a really bad temper he reached the portrait to his chambers, hissing the password at the frightened witch in the frame. Why on earth could he not just have a door with its key instead of Circe! Even his Slytherins used to joke over their grumpy head of house with the seducing beauty as door ward, not to mention the other houses.

Circe swung open while flashing her eyes at him and he stepped through the hole in the wall. Despite what most people thought, he did NOT live in the dungeons, where his classroom and office were located – out of security measures! – but just one floor under Dumbledore, again, for security.

Still angry, with himself and the rest of the world, he threw his heavy black Death Eater cloak and the mask into the lowest drawer of the huge desk right to the door and walked over to the well-worn leather couch in front of the fireplace on the left wall of the little living room.

He opened the liquor closet beside him with a flick of his wand and took a half-empty bottle Odgen's out. Pouring himself a glass, he picked up the lasted Potions journal from the coffee table and began to read.

When the sky outside darkened Severus closed the magazine and got up. He put the liquor back into its rightful place and sealed the lowest drawer with a spell to prevent curious pranksters from uncovering his second identity. Then he went inside the bathroom and took a quick shower. He had long given up to try and get the Potion fumes out of his hair, but that did not work with normal hair care products and the special substances were too expensive and aggressive to the skin for every day.

After leaving the bathroom he entered his bedroom to find some robes, as he had left the old ones in the bin (not even the house-elves could have gotten all the bloodstains washed out). He opened the wardrobe and picked out some socks, boxers, trousers and a shirt, all in black, together with ankle length robes he had not worn since half an eternity. Usually he preferred the knee length, as they left more room to move and were not so formal.

After a last surprisingly satisfying glace into the mirror, he left for dinner in the great hall.

The students filled the hall with cheery laughter. Over with the eerie silence of the holidays, Snape thought, as he took his seat between Flitwick and the new DADA professor. She smiled at him and turned back to Sinistra, who showed her something in her pouch.

Minerva led the new first year's in and Snape groaned inside his head, as he heard the name of jet another Weasley, this time, Charlie Weasley. At the Gryffindor table Bill Weasley cheered happily, as his brother was sorted into Gryffindor.

Beside him, the new teacher clapped politely. When the sorting was over the food appeared and everybody tugged in. Snape picked at his ham in distaste and went over to watching the others.

Dumbledore just plopped another mint bonbon into his mouth, together with potatoes and beef and Snape looked into the opposite direction quickly, as he felt his bile rising. Professor Stein looked at his plate suspiciously and then right into his eyes.

He inwardly warded himself for another lecture, put then the unexpected happened…

Her eyes were dark brown, with a hint of green near the large black pupils. The long, shiny white curls swirled nicely around her shoulders and her pale skin brought out the red, luscious lips even more.

He swallowed, as his gaze dropped deeper over her well built, muscular figure. The silk of her mauve robes reflected the light and Severus had to keep a tough hold on himself not to drool.

Not in all the 23 years of his life he had ever seen such beauty. Why he had not seen it in her earlier on the corridor was beyond him.

Suddenly she pushed away from the table and left the hall with a short excuse to Dumbledore. The headmaster smiled comfortingly at her back and Snape was at a loss. Normally the headmaster would never allow any of the teachers to miss the first dinner of the year.

"Headmaster?"

"Yes?", Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Why did she leave?"

Minerva and Sinistra giggled and Hagrid blinked one eye at him knowingly. He glared at them and waited for Dumbledore's answer.

"Ah, yes. Sorry, Severus, I cannot tell you. Private matters, but don't worry. She'll be alright."

"…"

"Why don't you come to my office after dinner?"

Ah – better, he nodded and turned back to his meal, that did not seem more appealing than before, but he forced down a few bites, or else Poppy would have a fit again.

In the headmaster's office, Snape waited impatiently for Ms Stein to arrive. Dumbledore had told him to calm down, but his curiosity did not let him. This woman had certainly bewitched him somehow! Or why else should he feel so protective for her!

He was pulled out of his musings, when the door opened and Ms Stein came in. She looked sickly pale and a little messy, but still astoundingly beautiful.

Albus sighed and motioned her to sit in one of the comfortable armchairs next to himself.

"How are you, dear?", he asked kindly.

"Better. I can manage with it in the morning, but the evenings and lunch are hell!", she groaned and held her head. Then she looked at Severus and frowned.

"Is he that?", she asked, not unkindly but somewhat cold. Dumbledore nodded and he was only more confused and curious.

"Who HE?"

"The Death eater who raped an innocent woman about two month ago!", she spat at him and glared at him, that the hairs on his neck went up and his hands got cold.

"What do YOU know?", he retorted angrily, "It's not as if I had a choice!".

"Fine!", she shouted and turned away. The headmaster sighed and put an arm around her.

"Severus, we – or rather you two – have some issues to clear, before you may storm to your chambers and sulk. The same for you, Anna."

He growled and looked at her, just when she turned around, and with regret over the harsh word exchange earlier, he saw the tears on her face.

"To be more exact, Severus, ", Dumbledore said calmly, "Anna was the woman you were to assault."

Severus gaped and stared at his colleague in disbelieve.

"And to add to the basic thing, she is pregnant, my boy – with your child."

She buried her head in Dumbledore's robes and began to cry again. The old wizard let her, while he observed Snape, who had just gone into shock.

Indeed, the Potions master seemed unhealthy pale, as a knock on the door disturbed the silence. Dumbledore slowly entangled himself from Ms Stein and she refrained to rest her head on her hand, her hair obscuring her face completely. Though, the little sobs now and then made clear she was crying.

Dumbledore opened the door and spoke some silent words with the person outside, before he turned back to them.

"Excuse me for a little bit. Minerva needs me for a moment. Be undisturbed and, maybe, you two should talk about it - Anna, Severus."

He closed the door behind him and it grew silent again. Uncomfortably so, as Severus thought, when another sob was heard through the curtain of white hair. He sighed, pulled all his courage together and stood up.

Kneeling down in front of her, he took one shaking hand into his and rubbed its palm with his thumb. The sobs grew weaker and stopped eventually. He sighed again.

"I am very sorry for what I have done to you. Even if I had no choice, but to obey, it was inhuman and cruel to do…it and I just want to say, that whatever you want to do, I will support you as much as I can – and as you'll let me."

"…"

"Is that acceptable for you?"

She sighed and took his hands into her own, before he looked up and gazed deep into her rimmed eyes.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Don't worry about money or a babysitter, if you… want to keep it?"

"Yes, I will.", she smiled shyly and looked away.

"Good."

"If…if you want to, we can raise it together. I mean, you can come and visit just like you want to… I mean…"

"Thanks. This must be very difficult for you."

"Actually it isn't. My body does all the work and I just watch."

"You suffer some morning sickness, do you?"

"Yes, why?"

"I can give you a potion for that. It will stabilize your stomach, but not harm the baby."

"I'd appreciate it very much.", she smiled.

"Somehow I can imagine that.", he giggled, totally against his usual composure.

Suddenly she joined in and they burst into laughter. After collecting themselves after several minutes, he sighed and rubbed her hands again.

"Why did we laugh just now?", he asked confused, but relieved.

"No clue.", she smiled and pressed his hand, "I better go now."

"Take care and I'll sent some of the potion to you as soon as I reach my lab. Take it before going to bed and you should not have any trouble."

"Okay. Bye, then."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah…"

She smiled and opened the door. When she had left he sat down in her previous chair heavily. There was still her scent lingering here, sweet and fresh.

When Albus entered his office, he found his Potions professor soundly asleep in one of his chairs. Smiling at the serene smile on the man's face, he floated the sleeping figure back to his rooms and into bed, before he retreated to his chambers himself.

TWO

Hogwarts; Mid-November 1979

Anna and Severus had not met again, after she reassured him, that she simply needed some time to come to terms with her life, much to Severus dismay. Then, on a foggy November morning, she approached him after breakfast.

"Severus?"

"Anna. How can I help you?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I don't need the Potion any longer and that it's a boy."

"Oh. Great."

"Well then – see you later.", she forced a smile and walked away towards her classroom. He stared after her, a little insecure about what to do and eventually turned back to his rooms.

The Christmas holidays came and he had some more time. Anna and he spoke again on Yule and later on New Year and built some kind of truce. She would keep the child with her after birth, but he would visit her on the weekends, if she did not still work at Hogwarts, then. They also tried to improve their relationship, form a friendship, but it was hard to trust for her.

However, when the students returned, they once again kept to their own routines and did not see each other beyond the meals and staff meetings.

The days went by and suddenly it was already March. At the end of January Anna had stopped teaching, as she simply was too tired to do so. She also suffered from migraine and cramps in her feet.

At March 21st Severus was summoned by his master and only returned late in the night. In his chambers he threw his mask away and sank down in his favourite armchair, when he recognised the headmaster sitting on the other one.

"Albus. What are you doing here so late? I thought I would report tomorrow."

"The war is not important at the moment, my dear boy. However, there are other matters you have to attend to right now. Please hear me out, before you say something."

"What is – is it Anna?"

"Yes. The contractions started in the early evening, shortly after you had left, and held on until midnight. Things progressed much too slowly and Poppy called a Mediwizard from St. Mungos. Dr. Jaclyn did a caesarean and the baby was delivered, but there were complications…"

"What do you mean? Tell me-", the young man shouted and jumped up from his seat.

"I'm sorry, Severus. There was the choice between her and the baby and it was her wish to see to it, that her child lived.. She also wished you took care of him. I-"

"NOOO! No, that's not true! Tell me, she didn't… did not…oh Merlin!", Severus cried and grabbed Dumbledore's robes tightly. Albus put his arms around his youngest teacher and pulled him into his lap.

"Shh, Severus. You have to be strong right now. Your son needs you!", the older wizard tried to soothe the younger and stroked small circles over his back, "Be strong, for her and for your son, and for yourself. You must not succumb to your grief!"

Severus looked at Dumbledore with rimmed, wet eyes.

"You don't know what it means to loose the mother of you child!", he spat.

"Don't be so sure of that, Severus.", the headmaster said sternly, but with some sadness in his voice, "I might not know what it means to loose the mother, but I know what it feels like to loose both, the mother and your child!"

Severus swallowed and tried to pull himself together.

"Where are they right now?", he inquired.

"In the hospital wing. Poppy took the little one into her care fro the moment."

Severus sighed and got up from Albus lap, slightly embarrassed, what had happened right now. They had not even been a couple, he scolded himself, don't wallow in self-pity!

Upstairs, in the infirmary, Poppy Pomfrey held a crying infant in her arms. The mother had died giving birth and her corpse was just cleaned up by the other Mediwizard, when the doors burst open and the father stormed in, followed by the headmaster.

Snape knelt beside the dead body under the clean, white sheet and began to cry like she had never seen before, at least not Severus Snape, if he had ever cried before…

"Annie…"

Dumbledore smiled sadly at Poppy and walked over to Severus. He took the man into his arms and let him cry his soul out.

After some time, the sobs grew weaker and Severus wiped his cheeks. He glared at the Mediwizard, who eyed his suspiciously, and walked over to Poppy, shaking a little.

He opened his arms and the Mediwitch handed him his son. Albus motioned him to sit on a chair next to a crib and finally Severus got to see his child.

Big, black eyes stared into big, green eyes. The baby suddenly stopped crying and sneezed lightly. Severus looked up at Poppy questioningly.

"Is he healthy?"

"Yes. Just a little cold, but I already gave him something against it. Don't worry."

"Oh – good.", he said absentmindedly and patted the child's back. It cooed happily and for one moment Severus thought it glared at him.

"Right so!", he whispered, mesmerized by the little being in his arms. THIS was HIS child. And it was absolutely incredible!

Poppy approached them with some papers in her hand.

"Severus, I need a name to fill in the birth certificate. Had you decided on anything?"

"No, no we didn't.", he looked at the bundle in his arms thoughtfully and shook his head while thinking, "Silvius Severus Snape. That was Anna's second name and my first as a second."

"Okay, fine. A very traditional name.", she said, writing it down."

"It would mean the earnest man from the woods .", Albus threw in and chuckled.

"Do you think she'd have like it?", he asked insecurely.

"I very much think so. She cared about you both, very much, though she did not show it."

Severus smiled and clutched the small baby tighter against his chest. Then his mark started burning. He looked thoughtful for a moment and finally raised his head.

"Albus, I can't keep the boy. He's not save with me."

"I understand. We will find a place for him.", the old wizard sighed. He wished he could talk Severus into keeping the child, but he knew all too well that it would not do any good.

"Thank you. Please take him now…and give him to somebody who'll care, okay?"

"Of course. Lily and James might want to take him in after Lily's miscarriage."

R&R, L'C

PS: There won't be a sequel, but maybe you'll like my attempt at a Severitus? See my bio!


End file.
